WTF LNDN?!?!

Today I did not feel like cooking. I decided to order dominoes. (Sometimes I crave some plastic). I order for delivery and they come pretty quickly. He comes to my building and rings the buzzer and I go onto the intercom and am like “Ill be right down”. I show up He was waiting patiently in the lobby. In his eastern european accent, he looked straight through my eyes and into my soul, then whispered: “Why so, Scared?”. Watch out folks the Joker lost his job and is working for dominoes in London. Lovely.

Dear Queen of England,

Please make sure that your capital does not completely shut down after two inches of snow. There isn’t even snow on the roads anymore.

Kind Regards

A “Milkyway” is the American Equivalent of a “Three Musketeers Bar”, now you know.  

It is almost impossible to go onto the streets without seeing the “queen of coffee” and her bacon hair. In London a medium cup o’ joe cost 3.30£, thats the equivalent of 4.90$… They should change their saying to “Ripping you caffeine junkies since 1971”

When a Plumber says that they are going to be at your flat between “8-3”. They are basically saying “Fuck you! Ill be there at 4:00”

So you may be asking who does this jackass think he is? Answer: I am an over confident, 15 year old, male, homosapien, who loves to make the world boil down to chaos. I moved from AMERICA to LONDON, that sucked. Here is my story day by day…